Glimpses of Samdrup Jongkhar Tshechu 2010

Vacation

The vacation has started. My kids are busy with their plans to visit their grand parents, uncle and aunts and cousins. I too would like to visit my relatives but I cannot do so since I have to be at another place away from my family. This is the sixth year that I hadn’t been able to enjoy a relaxed vacation but this year will be the last year that I will be sacrificing my hard earned vacation in a dull place like Samtse away from my family and hopefully I do not wish to visit this place again in my near future.

Dinner

This happened a few days ago. I was in the market with my son when I got a call from my husband. I thought he might have called to ask for something to be bought from the market so I asked him what he wanted. He asked me to get home because he had invited someone for dinner. I asked who the guest was and when I learned I shouted “Are you crazy?” I could read the time on the wall clock in the shop. I just had 1 hour to get home and make the dinner ready. I asked him to take the guest to the restaurant but he insisted that the dinner be made at home.

My angle

I had been awake for more than two hours and it’s still dark outside. I do not have anything to do since it’s a holiday. I try to open the book that I had brought yesterday but my mind is not on it. My thought keeps wandering to the day I got a call. The call that destroyed everything I had.

If Only….

It was a cold winter evening, everyone wrapped in old blankets sat around the fire, consuming every single heat the wood could produce. It was Zangmo, her ailing mother and her two younger siblings. They were very poor and the harsh winter could not let Zangmo find something to feed her family. Though just 17, she had to shoulder the entire responsibility of her house, for now her mother had been bed ridden for three weeks. Not to mention about the medicines, her mother could not even get good diet and every single day she was failing. Every groan produced by her ailing mother brought tears in her eyes.

Of Exams and Preparation

As my exams approach, I am struggling with the last minute preparation. I curse myself for not preparing beforehand but I also know that it wouldn’t have been possible with so many things happening in my life. At first it was the domestic emergency and then came the busy schedule at work. One thing led to another and before I realized, my exams schedule was out and I hadn’t even finished collecting notes. I frantically start googling and print some pages and flip though them trying to grasp some information. That’s what I had been doing for the past two weeks.

The concert

                                           Tamang dance by class PP

The note

She sat outside clutching a note on her palm, looking at the dark night, seeing nothing. The surrounding had become uneasily silent and she could hear the rustle of autumn leaves near her. For a moment she was lost in her thoughts transported to another time at another place on a similar night.

My Trip to book fair

I hadn’t been to book fair before and I didn’t know what to expect out of it but I knew that I would have to select the books for the various range of readers in my school. Keeping the readers in mind, I sat with a friend and listed some books to be purchased for the school library. The task of listing books took us most of our free time before my trip to Monger. After finally consenting on the list, I left for Mongar along with the teachers from the neighbouring schools. I was cramped in the only school bus of our Dzongkhag. The bus ride was bumpy due to widening of road in many different places and we had to stop at the various stop points before we finally arrived at our destination after the dusk. I couldn’t make much about the town in the darkness. My sister had come to pick me up, so I left with her.

Cycling lesson

flickering light

Flickering light in the room

Fighting the storm

The battle went on

Till the storm won

Driving in the rain

He didn’t want to go. He never planned for that trip but it happened. He was given a day’s notice to pack and prepare.  He didn’t have anything to pack since he would be gone for just four days. He was substituting someone for a conference. He stayed late at night going through the details before his trip. He called his fiancée to inform about the change in his schedule because he was going out of station. He was going to be away from her for four days and the thought of not seeing her for a day made his heart go cold. He was feeling apprehensive, like some unknown force was bidding him to stay. He wanted to cancel that trip but he knew that he couldn’t afford to do because it was an opportunity for him. Even his fiancée was excited about it.

a wish

Never had I felt so helpless. I was a firm believer of the cliché, “if there is a will, there is a way” but not anymore. My will power is failing me.

It is very disheartening to see the people you care about fade away in front of your eyes. The countless trips to many different hospitals and the numerous religious rituals haven’t been of much help.  Though I am aware of the impermanence, I want to hold on. I am just not ready to let go.

Thank You

Of late I have been emotionally low. Things aren’t going on as I had wished. There isn’t any improvement in my father-in-law. I hate to see him suffer in pain. He had been in that condition since many months. The trip to hospital and back home has been a frequent affair these days. How much ever I hate hospitals, I cannot avoid going there. And the other patient who is under going treatment in Kolkata is still in the same condition. I sometimes wish for Aladdin’s lamp so that I can make everything normal in a jiffy.

A night with nights in Rodanthe

Someone had talked about the movie version of the book “nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks and I was very eager to lay my hands on it but I wanted to read the book first. After a much wait, I found myself opening the book yesterday. The much awaited book was in my hand and I gingerly opened the book after having sent my kids to bed.

The promise of dawn

The night was creeping in but the weather did not change. The rain was as heavy as ever and the platter of raindrops could be heard on the roof in between the deafening thunder and lightening. To make it worse the frequent thunder and lightening had resulted in power cutoff. She wished for the weather outside to change. She could smell the dampness in her room and wished for sunshine in her room as well as her life.

Her life had been floating downstream for a couple of months but she hadn’t lost her hope of seeing the silver lining among the dark clouds.

Her life had been perfect just a few months ago before it came crashing down. Her life revolved around her grandmother who had toiled hard to get her educated. She did not have a single memory of her parents. She was told that they died in an accident and there wasn’t even a picture to remember them by. When she was small she sometimes asked her grand mother about her parents but as she grew, she didn’t feel the need to know her parents, so she just knew their names from her birth certificate she possessed. Her grand mother became her world.

When she graduated she got herself a job and made her grandmother quit her job since her health was deteriorating. With determination and hard work she climbed the ladder of success and got promoted to a team leader in the firm she worked. Being a team leader was very challenging but she loved facing challenges and turning them into opportunities and success. Everything was perfect when suddenly her world came crashing down. One night she was chatting with her grandmother and the next morning she found that she was all alone in the world. She felt her grandmother’s cold body and felt herself becoming breathless. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital bed. She had survived a major cardiac arrest and  was advised bed rest. Since then nothing was what it used to be.  Her work suffered as well as her health.

The weather outside reminded her of her present condition – helpless, bedridden and lonely. She thought of her grandmother and knew that her grandmother would not have wanted her to be that way. She was a survivor and knew that she would strive to live the life her grandmother wanted her to live. The long night gave way to dawn  and with it brought the promise and hope.

She could see her silver lining among those dark clouds as the dawn began to break…

The Olympic day 2010

I got to the public ground at 5 O’clock in the morning and it was raining very heavily. There were many participants eagerly waiting for their friends to turn up so that they could head off to the starting point. They were participating for the open marathon organized by the BOC to celebrate the world Olympic day 2010. Despite the weather everyone looked forward to the day’s events.  
I was the first among the volunteer to be there. As the minutes clicked by many other volunteers joined me, all dressed in yellow T-shirt and white caps. It was quite an amazing sight to behold. We got to work assigned a day earlier and it was fun working in rain. We got drenched but we enjoyed every bit of time spent there. It was only when a friend asked whether I had breakfast when I realized that I hadn’t had a cup of tea till 10 O’clock in the morning which was so unusual of me. J  The day ended with prize distribution and we all headed home tired but contented. 

Note: I wrote this on 18th July but couldn't post it due to busy schedule.

Get well soon!

I remember the first time I saw you

the most active among the group of eight

Selected among the hundreds

You were so full of life

With so much energy

And jest for life

I never knew death lurked around

Hiding beneath

Waiting to strike

The news shattered me

To learn what you are going through

The cancer eating you away

You have so much to live for

The dreams to be fulfill

The stars to be reached

Just hang on

I know you can over come that

With the blessings from all

(I recently came to know about this student who is being treated for bone marrow cancer..)

My bleak summer break

I had planned to spend my summer holidays with my parents in the village. I had even made a list of things I would do to help them during my two weeks break. My kids were all excited and then pop! my plans blew up! My brother-in-law got diagnosed with a terminal cancer and was referred to Thimphu. My husband had to rush to Thimphu since his father was also under going treatment there.

In the mean time I had that little accident where I hurt my toe and my nail came off. I had to stay under medication for sometime which disabled me from making any journey. Thus I got stuck up at the same place.

The only positive thing about the vacation is that my toe is healing and I am having enough rest.

The days are filled with watching TV and playing online games and face booking yet I feel so bored. My kids are complaining of boredom too. We take turns to play online games and watch TV together yet we feel something is amiss.  We want to take a breath of fresh air but the weather discourages us from outdoor games. So we are stuck with doing same things over and over again.

I haven’t told my kids about their uncle, grandpa and their great mother (who is also bed ridden in the village)  and try to make the days as normal as possible but I wonder for how long. Sooner or later I am going to break down because I cannot keep on pretending everything is all right when it’s just the opposite.

We still have one more week before the session resumes and I am already looking forward to that because I find no charm in sitting idly with nothing to do and worrying over things that I have no control over.



Photo : google.com

The dark phase of my life

“Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift that’s why it’s called a present” is a very popular line from the movie Kungfu Panda. The gift of today has to be accepted with gratitude yet I find it hard to do so. 
Many things have happened in the last few months  that I sometimes feel the god is testing my patience and faith. For months, I had spent sleepless nights and I feel that I had had enough but still things are going in the wrong direction. My gift of today is so confusing and disheartening with my many family members sick yet I hope to see the ray of sunshine at the end of the day because I read somewhere that the hours is darkest before the break of the dawn and I am hoping  to see my dawn sooner.

The more I think about it, the more it looks complicated. Fear grips my heart when I think about the unthinkable that might happen yet the faith I have keeps me going and hoping for the best. I know this dark phase in my life will pass yet I wonder for how long I need to endure all these. 

God give me strength!


Photo google.com

Feeling blue :(

People say that everything happens for a reason but I am not sure whether I believe that because what ever is happening to me right now doesn’t seem to be in the best of my interest. 

Of late I dread to pick up my cell. Every time the cell rings, I feel my blood run cold dreading for some bad news and I ask my daughter to see who the caller is. My granny is bedridden in the village and my father-in-law is at Thimphu undergoing treatment. My niece is also under medication and now another member of the family is hospitalized. He had missed his exams and was suspected of H1N1 but later he was diagnosed typhoid and now he is said to be suffering form blood cancer and need to undergo chemo therapy. In the mist of all these I don’t need an injury but it happened again. I slipped and injured my leg. I feel so helpless. Can there be anything worse than what's  happening now?

Photo google.com

Mother’s concern…

As a child I used to wonder why my mother was always frantic when one of us (her children) was late from school. Once I even asked her why she worried unnecessarily to which she responded that I would have answer to that when I became a mother some day. Now that I have children of my own, I can well understand her fears better.

My worry began when I learned that I was going to be a mother. I worried whether my baby was growing properly in my womb. And I even asked the doctor to see whether my baby had all the limbs on delivery. I worried when my baby didn’t eat and worried when she ate too much. I worried when I left her with the babysitter as I went to work. 

My worry doubled when my son was born. He was very tiny and weighed only 2.9kg, much smaller than his sister

With years the worry has only increased.. Now though both of my children are growing healthy and performing well in their studies, I can’t help worrying; worrying over their health, food, their performance and the list goes on.  When do mothers really stop worrying? 

Photo google.com

A message

Dear friend,

“There comes a time when things happen when we least expect. The unexpected turn of events changes our lives forever. The winds of destiny blows, sometimes furiously like a hurricane and we get drifted with its force. At other times it is barely noticeable as it gently fans our cheek. Either way we cannot deny the call of destiny as they hold our untold future” writes Nicholas Sparks in his book “The message in the bottle”.  And life must go on…

Every time I think about the choice that you had made, I can do nothing but to pray that you be happy with the choice that you have made. I can only imagine what you might have gone through but you must remember that you are far greater than you have ever dreamed of being. No matter what you are experiencing in your life right now, trust that all is good and unfolding in your best interest. I know it will take time to heal the wounds that you have suffered.

Do not look back at you past because I know that’s where you pain lies. Past is a grave and it makes no sense living you life in a grave. You cannot move forward in life if you are stuck looking in the rearview mirror. Do not run away from the many adventures that the life has to offer to you. I know your fears but remember that on the other side of your fear you will discover your fortune.

Try to live an excellent life because living an excellent life is a manifestation of self-love. Keep spreading smile. :) 

A well wisher.

The lonely soul

As soon as he gets into the room, he starts greeting everyone present there. Sometimes his greetings are followed with a naughty remark and at other time with a smack of laughter from the others. This is the virtual world of the druknet chat room.  Every one in the room knows him as a regular chatter and exchanges some valuable information with him on some occasion but no one has really seen the real soul that resides beneath the stereotype nick he uses -the soul that is lonely and craves for a company. He is usually surrounded by many beautiful ladies in the virtual world but the reality is just the opposite.

His wife left him because they could not understand each other and they decided to go separate ways because it would have destroyed them if they had lived under the same roof. His passion for archery was more than his wife could bear and her nagging was something that he dreaded. So it was better that way.

Now he doesn’t have someone to nag him and he is happy about it but every evening as he climbs the stairs of the building which he call his home, he sense a feeling of loneliness creeping in his heart. The eerie silence that greets him on his arrival home is sometimes unnerving. Thus he find solace in the virtual world and chat away his time until the sleep comes his way.

Photo Google.com

Heat

I have been residing here for some months now and the weather is getting terrible every passing day. Everyday I make sure to watch the weather forecast on the BBS so that I know what to expect the following day.

These days the temperature is almost always between 28° to 29°  but for me, it is more than I can bear. I am used to being in the cooler places. When I comment on the increasing temperature to my colleagues they say that this is just the beginning of the season. Now this makes me think… I can’t imagine what it would be like in the coming months. God help me combat the heat!

Changing times

I remember a time when I visited a village more than a decade ago. The people in that village lived in harmony. They had just got their houses electrified and they were learning to use the electronic rice cookers and water boilers. Everyone helped everyone in times of need. I was amazed to see a train of people walking and on inquiry I learned that those people were carrying a sick lady in turn to reach her to the nearest BHU since the village did not have access to road.

I visited that village recently. I could see that it had changed drastically. The wooden shingles were replaced by the CGI sheet and there were a few concrete house as well which I hadn't seen during my first visit. The village has a road and people have prospered materialistically. I could also see some vehicles parked in front of some houses and the village has a community school too. Yes! People have prospered but it was saddening to notice that they are more involved in their individual well being. Their once selfless commitment for the well being of the whole community has diminished with the changing times. People hardly render help to the needy ones and we cannot find any more train of people helping a sickly neighbour to the hospital. Neighbours hardly know what is happening in the next house.

Changing times have brought many developments in the lives of that village but it has also disintegrated the harmony and coziness that the people once shared.

Rush hours!

Trriiing!

The alarm goes off at 10 minutes to 5 in the morning. It is set to remind me at 5 minutes intervals. Each time the shrill bell seems louder and more insistent than the last. On the fourth ring I have to get off the bed and prepare for the day or else I would end up being late for my work.

A brisk walk and a shower and I head to the kitchen for a cup of tea and begin my household chores. By 6.30, the breakfast is ready and the lunch is packed. I call my children to wake them up but they always pretend not to hear and I have go to my children's room to literally pull them out of their bed. By the time they take shower and eat their breakfast, it is almost 7.15 and I have just 30 minutes to pack their books, get them dressed and prepare myself for my work.

Phew!

As I take my car keys and drive through the gate towards my daughter's school, I glance at the watch which informs me that I have 15 minutes to get to my work. Dropping my daughter to her school take me longer than necessary because of the traffic and most of the time I end up crossing the school gate when the bell rings. I always end up reaching at work just on time and on a few occasions even late by few minutes.

The final cut –II

I cried as if my heart would break. The condition in which I found my friend was too much for me to bear. It seemed like ages when finally I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see my mother beside me. She nodded to me with her knowing eyes left us saying that I could stay with my friend to give her company.

I wanted to know the reason behind the condition of my friend. I had thousand of questions and but my friend was in no condition to answer my queries. She was intoxicated by the alcohol and she made no sense when she talked. To wipe off her intoxication of alcohol, I had to wait and I grew impatient every passing minute. In the mean time, my mother had called some one to drive them to the Tshechu and they left leaving me behind for which I was glad.

The wait seemed longer than I had expected and finally when she came around, I tried to talk to her but she waved her hands and did not want to hear anything. After much persuasion I made her to talk. And she revealed that the reason behind her deteriorating condition and her life was because of her addiction to alcohol. She had started it when she went for social gathering and as time went by, she started drinking in larger quantity which increased every passing day until a time came when she could not stay an hour without the drink. He husband tried his best to bring her out of the addiction but she would not listen to him and instead she started using abusive language which forced him to move away from her house with the children. With the moving of her family, she had another excuse to drink and that was how she had been since many months. Her children were scared to come near her because she would use what ever she had near her to smash on their tiny body.

Though the husband stayed away, he brought her grocery and thing which would remain almost untouched except those countless bottles of drinks. He would send someone to check on her only to be sent back humiliated. Thus her neighbours never bothered about her.

After her narration of her addiction, I resolved to take the risk and admit her to a rehabilitation centre where I could see some hope for her. But I didn’t disclose my intention to her and went to look for her husband to ask his consensus. He was more than glad to hear my plans and we moved her to the rehab the following day.

Her days in the rehab had given her courage to fight her addiction and she is recovering well as per the report we received from the centre. Now I can only wait for the day when I can meet my friend the same old cheerful friend..

Am I not stealing???

 “Give a days work for a day’s pay. Anything less is stealing” – Nicholas Sparks. These words have been pricking my guilty conscience since I started working in my new place. I feel guilty of taking more than I deserve. It’s not because I don’t work nor is it because I don’t have the vibe or interest to work. I do my share of work assigned to me and I enjoy my work but at the end of the day, I fell that there is something lagging that does not give me the job satisfaction that I crave. Do such things happen to every body?

The place of work and the schedule of my work may be the factor affecting my thoughts. It may be because I have more time at my hand now than I had the previous year but what ever the reason may be, I can not help feeling guilty. The suggestion that some colleagues throw on the floor in the best interest of our clients (the students) are received with cold stare and low murmurs. Some colleagues feel that the place had done fairly well in the past and doesn’t feel the need for any changes. Isn’t it time that we shed the cocoon of limitations that has developed and prevented is from excellence?  

The final cut

It was a bizarre scene. Now that I reflect on it, I still cannot believe that it happened. It was a Tshechu time- the time for festivity. Everyone was decked in their best outfit and I had planned to be with my family for the occasion. I had my lunch packed and my children dressed in their best attire and got in my car to drive to the dzong. On the way I had planned to drop a gift I had friend whom I hadn’t meet for a couple of years.

As I neared her house, it looked deserted. The garden was over grown with the weeds and wild plants. I looked at my mother who was sitting beside me questioningly. She assured me that my friend was inside. I stopped the engine of the car and got out with the gift in my hand. I walked gingerly and knocked. I heard someone coughing. I pushed the door ajar which opened with a crack.

The interior looked like it had never seen the air. The place looked damp and dusty. Pieces of broken woods were laying every where. The smell of alcohol could be felt from the door. I called her name and walked inside leaving my footprint on the floor.  A tiny figure lay in the bed of shambles. The floor of the bed room was no better than the hall that I had passed. The empty bottles were scattered everywhere which spelt her addiction. She tried to get up from her bed and smiled meekly. I was shocked. The face I was seeing was that of a stranger. The familiarity and her knowing smile had disappeared replaced by the sad eyes which spoke volumes of her sorrow. Tears welled up in my eyes to see her wasting away her life and I broke down in front of her like a child. I forgot about my mother and children waiting in the car and just sat with her holding her hands and cried… (To be continued….)

Monsoon is here again

The much awaited rain came as a relief from the dust and heat that was becoming unbearable in the southern belt. It was a welcoming scene. I rushed outside to feel the first drops of rain on my face. Ah! It was refreshing. I called my kids outside for a walk in the rain. We carried our slippers in our hand and walked bare foot. We walked around the neighbourhood and I could see the children enjoying the first showers like us.

The rain had rejuvenated the earth and I could observe the green world with the promise of  bounty harvest this year.

The rain has also got the river near our school swollen and I cannot drive to my work. I have to park my car with the rest of other vehicle on the bank and walk through the suspension bridge. The walk on the suspension bridge with more than five hundred students is something to be experienced. The swinging of the bridge under the weight of the commuters had my knees go weak with fear on my first walk.

It is still raining and the bridge still swings under my weight but I am getting used to it now.

All smiles

My daughter had a great wish to shake her hands with His Majesty the 5^th King some day. She was not happy last year when her friend got a hug from His Majesty while she did not.  I had to console her saying that everyone does not get such opportunities. She felt jealous when her friend bellowed about the incident.

A visit to our school on 16^th April by His Majesty was a dream come true for my daughter. The students from the Middle Secondary School were also called to our school because our school has a big multi purpose hall.

His Majesty granted an audience with the students and asked the students to ask him any questions. The students stood dumbfounded. They had never had such opportunities and they were speechless upon the consideration shown by the young King. The second passed when a meek sound was heard from a girl. Every one turned around to see my daughter asking the first question to His majesty… His Majesty patiently answered her query. She was all smiles. She got lots of praise from her friends and the visitors. After a round of questions, she asked another question to the King. The king couldn’t help his smile and called her in front and hugged her. She couldn’t believe that she actually got her wish fulfilled. Her one dream came true.

In the evening I had to listen to her incident time and again. But the best part was that she was all smiles even when she went to bed.

Dreams come true

She dreamt of being some one beyond her means. Though born in poverty, she dared to dream. She dreamt of going to school like other girls of her age but her poor parents could not support her and instead she had to help her parents in sharing the responsibility of earning the bread for her family. That’s the plight of being the eldest in the poor family. Despite being poor and destitute, she never lost her hold of her dream. She helped in herding the cattle for the rich family in the village and for her service, she was given some food which she gladly took every evening to her ailing mother and her younger siblings.

The evening was her favourite time. It was the story time and she always liked the story which had the angles that came to the rescue of the unfortunate ones and wished she had some angles to help her from her plight. Her mother used to tell the stories and they would fall asleep listening to the story of the far away lands where the people always lived happily ever after. And she would always pray silently for an angle to save her from her present condition.

Then a day came when she came face to face with her angle. Her angle came in the form of a woman in her thirties looking for a companion for her four year daughter. The woman had travelled far and wide looking for a maid. When the woman heard about her, she came without wasting her time. The girl (cheche) was asked to get ready to leave for the capital. She was elated. At last her prayers were answered but she was also saddened to leave her family behind. Though poor, they were her only solace till then. But then she had knew that the money the lady would pay her parents for her service would help her family lead a better life. So with a mixed feeling she left to live with the strangers.

Her meeting with the four year girl was a unmemorable but as days went by, they became very close and the little girl followed cheche every where calling her “Ana…. Ana” Thus cheche became a member of the family. She worked hard and pleased every member of the family with her hard work and honesty. And everyone trusted her. Her zest for learning made her learn the language fast and she could understand the other dialect quite fluently.

A year after she came to live with the family, she was asked to attend the school with the little girl. She was overjoyed. She could see her dreams turning into reality. She shed tears when her foster father brought her a new set of uniform. She felt awkward to be starting her school when the girls her age were in class 5 and 6. But the kind words from the lady of the house let go all her doubt and fear. On the first day in the school she got her new name “Sonam”. Yes she like the new name better than the old one.

And she made a promise to herself that she would never let go the opportunity that was bestowed upon her and work hard to fulfill the dreams.

The struggle

The quest for the greener pasture had lured him away from her. She had always been supportive and respected his decision when he decided to go and work in the USA, the land of dreams. She supported him financially to secure a visa and a plane ticket to his destination. The process was not without huddles but she managed that with the support of her caring family and friends. It took her many travels to Delhi and much spent money but she put up with that all. After all her man was going to States to secure their future (that’s what he always said)

He left her when she was five month pregnant with his child. He promised to call her as soon as he reached there. Days passed into weeks and weeks changed into months. Seasons changed but she didn’t hear a word from her man. Her relatives asked her about her man but she had no information. She got worried and made a long distance call to a friend who said that she had seen her husband a few days earlier in a Bhutanese get together. The information gave her a relief and some hope.

In the mean time her baby entered the world. Holding her baby in her arms brought tears in her eyes. She wished her husband was there to share those tender moments.

Her days dragged by but with the help of her supportive relatives, she survived. When her baby started teething, she starting thinking about her life and began to restate her priorities in her life. She decided to find her a job and got herself enrolled in a training institute. She worked hard. She had to because she had to think about her little baby at home. She completed her course and had a secured job though it was just enough for them. Her mother came to live with her to help her with babysitting. She could sense lots of questions in her mother’s eyes but she ignored since she did not have answers for those.

She enrolled herself in continuing education and spent sleepless nights studying, working and managing home. In time her hard work paid off. She got her degree. Now her future was secure with a secure job and teenage daughter but there was no place for any man in her life. She did not trust any man because only she knew what she had gone through during those first years of her struggle when her so called husband left her never to return.

Epilogue

In a few months time she will be leaving for the states to pursue her masters degree. She just wishes that she doesn’t come across the pretender during her stay there

The realization

He had been abroad pursuing his masters degree and was looking forward to returning home in a couple of months. It was just about few months left for him to wind up his studies and he had already started packing to return home but did he have a home here? He made home in the various places he was placed during his tenure in the service but he never felt he had a home. Yes, he had a family but they stayed away from him because of his nature of work. Due to the distance, their relation suffered and he hadn't talked to his family for almost a year.  Not even to his children.

His friends urged him to make his marriage work and he tried but the gap created due to distance and miscommunication had grown beyond bridging and his studies abroad created even more gap. He was thinking of how his life would be once he returned when his cell rang. The voice at the other end made him nostalgic and he couldn't help the tears from flowing from his cheek. The caller was his daughter. She gave him an account of what was happening at home, the place he dreaded to visit. But talking to him brought back fresh memories of his happier times with his family.

Her call made him realize how much he missed his children and how much his children have grown in his absence. He asked himself whether he was a good father or a good human. He did not have answer to that. It was more than an hour after the phone got disconnected that he was still holding his cell phone and crying. He resolved to make up to all the time he had lost and return to his family and try to make his relation work for the sake of his children.

(A true story... The man in the story made a call to me wanted me write about this. I tried my best but I know I didnt do much justice to his emotions... may he be able to keep his resolution....m keeping my fingers crossed)

Truth is stranger than fiction

I was feeling gloomy because of some turn of events. I had just received a call from a friend in who shared the news about the accident of a close friend. She had lost her baby that was due in another month’s time. It was disheartening to hear that because I knew how much she wanted the child. It took her ten years to conceive that baby and she was very happy about it when I last saw her in January. Now the much awaited gift of her life had gone. I knew what she must have been going through and wanted to console her but I had no nerve to call her. I think the weather outside understood the gush of emotion I was going through for the heavens broke down and I could hear the platters of rain drops on the roof.

I knew I had to call her but I couldn’t. Instead I called a mutual friend and broke the news to her who expressed her sympathy but the dreams she shared to me prior to the accident of our friend was something beyond my beliefs.

In her dream she said that she saw our friend selling jewelry to the others and in the process collected a lot of money.  Seeing money in the dreams indicate the misfortune and believing that she had made call to our friend to warn her of her dreams but she couldn’t be reached because the network was very busy at that hour. After that she got busy and couldn’t call our friend. When she told me the date when she had that dream, I was shocked because the accident occurred within 12 hours after that dream.

Does something like that really happen? Or was it a coincidence? I know I don’t believe in dreams but that incident made think over and when I related about the dream and the accident to other friends, they said that such things happen… but it is still hard to believe…

my visit to hospital

I had to visit the hospital due to sudden pain in the chest. I drove straight from work and parked my car in the parking lot. I was accompanied by a friend and we walked towards the reception to get my OPD form. The first thing that hit me was the smell of that place and the many ailing patients. One look at them and I felt weakness on y knees. We got into the queue to get the form which took us more than ten minutes.    

After that, we hunted for the doctor’s chamber since both of us were new to the place and it took us sometime to find it filled with more ailing people. We waited for our turns which consumed another hour. Just as out turn arrived, a man in police uniform rushed in front of us. We didn’t say anything but then another man followed the first one and tried to get in front of us. Now this really irritated me since I was already agitated by the pain and the people around. Here we were waiting for our turns for hours and some people were trying to get in between. I could not control my irritation, so I said that we had been waiting for our turns and he must do the same. The man said that he was in hurry to which my friend responded that we didn’t have all the time in the world. After some exchange of some casual remarks, the man backed out and got in line behind us.