Glimpses of Samdrup Jongkhar Tshechu 2010

Vacation

The vacation has started. My kids are busy with their plans to visit their grand parents, uncle and aunts and cousins. I too would like to visit my relatives but I cannot do so since I have to be at another place away from my family. This is the sixth year that I hadn’t been able to enjoy a relaxed vacation but this year will be the last year that I will be sacrificing my hard earned vacation in a dull place like Samtse away from my family and hopefully I do not wish to visit this place again in my near future.

Dinner

This happened a few days ago. I was in the market with my son when I got a call from my husband. I thought he might have called to ask for something to be bought from the market so I asked him what he wanted. He asked me to get home because he had invited someone for dinner. I asked who the guest was and when I learned I shouted “Are you crazy?” I could read the time on the wall clock in the shop. I just had 1 hour to get home and make the dinner ready. I asked him to take the guest to the restaurant but he insisted that the dinner be made at home.

My angle

I had been awake for more than two hours and it’s still dark outside. I do not have anything to do since it’s a holiday. I try to open the book that I had brought yesterday but my mind is not on it. My thought keeps wandering to the day I got a call. The call that destroyed everything I had.

If Only….

It was a cold winter evening, everyone wrapped in old blankets sat around the fire, consuming every single heat the wood could produce. It was Zangmo, her ailing mother and her two younger siblings. They were very poor and the harsh winter could not let Zangmo find something to feed her family. Though just 17, she had to shoulder the entire responsibility of her house, for now her mother had been bed ridden for three weeks. Not to mention about the medicines, her mother could not even get good diet and every single day she was failing. Every groan produced by her ailing mother brought tears in her eyes.

Of Exams and Preparation

As my exams approach, I am struggling with the last minute preparation. I curse myself for not preparing beforehand but I also know that it wouldn’t have been possible with so many things happening in my life. At first it was the domestic emergency and then came the busy schedule at work. One thing led to another and before I realized, my exams schedule was out and I hadn’t even finished collecting notes. I frantically start googling and print some pages and flip though them trying to grasp some information. That’s what I had been doing for the past two weeks.

The concert

                                           Tamang dance by class PP

The note

She sat outside clutching a note on her palm, looking at the dark night, seeing nothing. The surrounding had become uneasily silent and she could hear the rustle of autumn leaves near her. For a moment she was lost in her thoughts transported to another time at another place on a similar night.

My Trip to book fair

I hadn’t been to book fair before and I didn’t know what to expect out of it but I knew that I would have to select the books for the various range of readers in my school. Keeping the readers in mind, I sat with a friend and listed some books to be purchased for the school library. The task of listing books took us most of our free time before my trip to Monger. After finally consenting on the list, I left for Mongar along with the teachers from the neighbouring schools. I was cramped in the only school bus of our Dzongkhag. The bus ride was bumpy due to widening of road in many different places and we had to stop at the various stop points before we finally arrived at our destination after the dusk. I couldn’t make much about the town in the darkness. My sister had come to pick me up, so I left with her.

Cycling lesson

flickering light

Flickering light in the room

Fighting the storm

The battle went on

Till the storm won

Driving in the rain

He didn’t want to go. He never planned for that trip but it happened. He was given a day’s notice to pack and prepare.  He didn’t have anything to pack since he would be gone for just four days. He was substituting someone for a conference. He stayed late at night going through the details before his trip. He called his fiancée to inform about the change in his schedule because he was going out of station. He was going to be away from her for four days and the thought of not seeing her for a day made his heart go cold. He was feeling apprehensive, like some unknown force was bidding him to stay. He wanted to cancel that trip but he knew that he couldn’t afford to do because it was an opportunity for him. Even his fiancée was excited about it.

a wish

Never had I felt so helpless. I was a firm believer of the cliché, “if there is a will, there is a way” but not anymore. My will power is failing me.

It is very disheartening to see the people you care about fade away in front of your eyes. The countless trips to many different hospitals and the numerous religious rituals haven’t been of much help.  Though I am aware of the impermanence, I want to hold on. I am just not ready to let go.

Thank You

Of late I have been emotionally low. Things aren’t going on as I had wished. There isn’t any improvement in my father-in-law. I hate to see him suffer in pain. He had been in that condition since many months. The trip to hospital and back home has been a frequent affair these days. How much ever I hate hospitals, I cannot avoid going there. And the other patient who is under going treatment in Kolkata is still in the same condition. I sometimes wish for Aladdin’s lamp so that I can make everything normal in a jiffy.

A night with nights in Rodanthe

Someone had talked about the movie version of the book “nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks and I was very eager to lay my hands on it but I wanted to read the book first. After a much wait, I found myself opening the book yesterday. The much awaited book was in my hand and I gingerly opened the book after having sent my kids to bed.

The promise of dawn

The night was creeping in but the weather did not change. The rain was as heavy as ever and the platter of raindrops could be heard on the roof in between the deafening thunder and lightening. To make it worse the frequent thunder and lightening had resulted in power cutoff. She wished for the weather outside to change. She could smell the dampness in her room and wished for sunshine in her room as well as her life.

Her life had been floating downstream for a couple of months but she hadn’t lost her hope of seeing the silver lining among the dark clouds.

Her life had been perfect just a few months ago before it came crashing down. Her life revolved around her grandmother who had toiled hard to get her educated. She did not have a single memory of her parents. She was told that they died in an accident and there wasn’t even a picture to remember them by. When she was small she sometimes asked her grand mother about her parents but as she grew, she didn’t feel the need to know her parents, so she just knew their names from her birth certificate she possessed. Her grand mother became her world.

When she graduated she got herself a job and made her grandmother quit her job since her health was deteriorating. With determination and hard work she climbed the ladder of success and got promoted to a team leader in the firm she worked. Being a team leader was very challenging but she loved facing challenges and turning them into opportunities and success. Everything was perfect when suddenly her world came crashing down. One night she was chatting with her grandmother and the next morning she found that she was all alone in the world. She felt her grandmother’s cold body and felt herself becoming breathless. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital bed. She had survived a major cardiac arrest and  was advised bed rest. Since then nothing was what it used to be.  Her work suffered as well as her health.

The weather outside reminded her of her present condition – helpless, bedridden and lonely. She thought of her grandmother and knew that her grandmother would not have wanted her to be that way. She was a survivor and knew that she would strive to live the life her grandmother wanted her to live. The long night gave way to dawn  and with it brought the promise and hope.

She could see her silver lining among those dark clouds as the dawn began to break…

The Olympic day 2010

I got to the public ground at 5 O’clock in the morning and it was raining very heavily. There were many participants eagerly waiting for their friends to turn up so that they could head off to the starting point. They were participating for the open marathon organized by the BOC to celebrate the world Olympic day 2010. Despite the weather everyone looked forward to the day’s events.  
I was the first among the volunteer to be there. As the minutes clicked by many other volunteers joined me, all dressed in yellow T-shirt and white caps. It was quite an amazing sight to behold. We got to work assigned a day earlier and it was fun working in rain. We got drenched but we enjoyed every bit of time spent there. It was only when a friend asked whether I had breakfast when I realized that I hadn’t had a cup of tea till 10 O’clock in the morning which was so unusual of me. J  The day ended with prize distribution and we all headed home tired but contented. 

Note: I wrote this on 18th July but couldn't post it due to busy schedule.

Get well soon!

I remember the first time I saw you

the most active among the group of eight

Selected among the hundreds

You were so full of life

With so much energy

And jest for life

I never knew death lurked around

Hiding beneath

Waiting to strike

The news shattered me

To learn what you are going through

The cancer eating you away

You have so much to live for

The dreams to be fulfill

The stars to be reached

Just hang on

I know you can over come that

With the blessings from all

(I recently came to know about this student who is being treated for bone marrow cancer..)

My bleak summer break

I had planned to spend my summer holidays with my parents in the village. I had even made a list of things I would do to help them during my two weeks break. My kids were all excited and then pop! my plans blew up! My brother-in-law got diagnosed with a terminal cancer and was referred to Thimphu. My husband had to rush to Thimphu since his father was also under going treatment there.

In the mean time I had that little accident where I hurt my toe and my nail came off. I had to stay under medication for sometime which disabled me from making any journey. Thus I got stuck up at the same place.

The only positive thing about the vacation is that my toe is healing and I am having enough rest.

The days are filled with watching TV and playing online games and face booking yet I feel so bored. My kids are complaining of boredom too. We take turns to play online games and watch TV together yet we feel something is amiss.  We want to take a breath of fresh air but the weather discourages us from outdoor games. So we are stuck with doing same things over and over again.

I haven’t told my kids about their uncle, grandpa and their great mother (who is also bed ridden in the village)  and try to make the days as normal as possible but I wonder for how long. Sooner or later I am going to break down because I cannot keep on pretending everything is all right when it’s just the opposite.

We still have one more week before the session resumes and I am already looking forward to that because I find no charm in sitting idly with nothing to do and worrying over things that I have no control over.



Photo : google.com

The dark phase of my life

“Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift that’s why it’s called a present” is a very popular line from the movie Kungfu Panda. The gift of today has to be accepted with gratitude yet I find it hard to do so. 
Many things have happened in the last few months  that I sometimes feel the god is testing my patience and faith. For months, I had spent sleepless nights and I feel that I had had enough but still things are going in the wrong direction. My gift of today is so confusing and disheartening with my many family members sick yet I hope to see the ray of sunshine at the end of the day because I read somewhere that the hours is darkest before the break of the dawn and I am hoping  to see my dawn sooner.

The more I think about it, the more it looks complicated. Fear grips my heart when I think about the unthinkable that might happen yet the faith I have keeps me going and hoping for the best. I know this dark phase in my life will pass yet I wonder for how long I need to endure all these. 

God give me strength!


Photo google.com