Am I not stealing???

 “Give a days work for a day’s pay. Anything less is stealing” – Nicholas Sparks. These words have been pricking my guilty conscience since I started working in my new place. I feel guilty of taking more than I deserve. It’s not because I don’t work nor is it because I don’t have the vibe or interest to work. I do my share of work assigned to me and I enjoy my work but at the end of the day, I fell that there is something lagging that does not give me the job satisfaction that I crave. Do such things happen to every body?

The place of work and the schedule of my work may be the factor affecting my thoughts. It may be because I have more time at my hand now than I had the previous year but what ever the reason may be, I can not help feeling guilty. The suggestion that some colleagues throw on the floor in the best interest of our clients (the students) are received with cold stare and low murmurs. Some colleagues feel that the place had done fairly well in the past and doesn’t feel the need for any changes. Isn’t it time that we shed the cocoon of limitations that has developed and prevented is from excellence?  

The final cut

It was a bizarre scene. Now that I reflect on it, I still cannot believe that it happened. It was a Tshechu time- the time for festivity. Everyone was decked in their best outfit and I had planned to be with my family for the occasion. I had my lunch packed and my children dressed in their best attire and got in my car to drive to the dzong. On the way I had planned to drop a gift I had friend whom I hadn’t meet for a couple of years.

As I neared her house, it looked deserted. The garden was over grown with the weeds and wild plants. I looked at my mother who was sitting beside me questioningly. She assured me that my friend was inside. I stopped the engine of the car and got out with the gift in my hand. I walked gingerly and knocked. I heard someone coughing. I pushed the door ajar which opened with a crack.

The interior looked like it had never seen the air. The place looked damp and dusty. Pieces of broken woods were laying every where. The smell of alcohol could be felt from the door. I called her name and walked inside leaving my footprint on the floor.  A tiny figure lay in the bed of shambles. The floor of the bed room was no better than the hall that I had passed. The empty bottles were scattered everywhere which spelt her addiction. She tried to get up from her bed and smiled meekly. I was shocked. The face I was seeing was that of a stranger. The familiarity and her knowing smile had disappeared replaced by the sad eyes which spoke volumes of her sorrow. Tears welled up in my eyes to see her wasting away her life and I broke down in front of her like a child. I forgot about my mother and children waiting in the car and just sat with her holding her hands and cried… (To be continued….)

Monsoon is here again

The much awaited rain came as a relief from the dust and heat that was becoming unbearable in the southern belt. It was a welcoming scene. I rushed outside to feel the first drops of rain on my face. Ah! It was refreshing. I called my kids outside for a walk in the rain. We carried our slippers in our hand and walked bare foot. We walked around the neighbourhood and I could see the children enjoying the first showers like us.

The rain had rejuvenated the earth and I could observe the green world with the promise of  bounty harvest this year.

The rain has also got the river near our school swollen and I cannot drive to my work. I have to park my car with the rest of other vehicle on the bank and walk through the suspension bridge. The walk on the suspension bridge with more than five hundred students is something to be experienced. The swinging of the bridge under the weight of the commuters had my knees go weak with fear on my first walk.

It is still raining and the bridge still swings under my weight but I am getting used to it now.

All smiles

My daughter had a great wish to shake her hands with His Majesty the 5^th King some day. She was not happy last year when her friend got a hug from His Majesty while she did not.  I had to console her saying that everyone does not get such opportunities. She felt jealous when her friend bellowed about the incident.

A visit to our school on 16^th April by His Majesty was a dream come true for my daughter. The students from the Middle Secondary School were also called to our school because our school has a big multi purpose hall.

His Majesty granted an audience with the students and asked the students to ask him any questions. The students stood dumbfounded. They had never had such opportunities and they were speechless upon the consideration shown by the young King. The second passed when a meek sound was heard from a girl. Every one turned around to see my daughter asking the first question to His majesty… His Majesty patiently answered her query. She was all smiles. She got lots of praise from her friends and the visitors. After a round of questions, she asked another question to the King. The king couldn’t help his smile and called her in front and hugged her. She couldn’t believe that she actually got her wish fulfilled. Her one dream came true.

In the evening I had to listen to her incident time and again. But the best part was that she was all smiles even when she went to bed.

Dreams come true

She dreamt of being some one beyond her means. Though born in poverty, she dared to dream. She dreamt of going to school like other girls of her age but her poor parents could not support her and instead she had to help her parents in sharing the responsibility of earning the bread for her family. That’s the plight of being the eldest in the poor family. Despite being poor and destitute, she never lost her hold of her dream. She helped in herding the cattle for the rich family in the village and for her service, she was given some food which she gladly took every evening to her ailing mother and her younger siblings.

The evening was her favourite time. It was the story time and she always liked the story which had the angles that came to the rescue of the unfortunate ones and wished she had some angles to help her from her plight. Her mother used to tell the stories and they would fall asleep listening to the story of the far away lands where the people always lived happily ever after. And she would always pray silently for an angle to save her from her present condition.

Then a day came when she came face to face with her angle. Her angle came in the form of a woman in her thirties looking for a companion for her four year daughter. The woman had travelled far and wide looking for a maid. When the woman heard about her, she came without wasting her time. The girl (cheche) was asked to get ready to leave for the capital. She was elated. At last her prayers were answered but she was also saddened to leave her family behind. Though poor, they were her only solace till then. But then she had knew that the money the lady would pay her parents for her service would help her family lead a better life. So with a mixed feeling she left to live with the strangers.

Her meeting with the four year girl was a unmemorable but as days went by, they became very close and the little girl followed cheche every where calling her “Ana…. Ana” Thus cheche became a member of the family. She worked hard and pleased every member of the family with her hard work and honesty. And everyone trusted her. Her zest for learning made her learn the language fast and she could understand the other dialect quite fluently.

A year after she came to live with the family, she was asked to attend the school with the little girl. She was overjoyed. She could see her dreams turning into reality. She shed tears when her foster father brought her a new set of uniform. She felt awkward to be starting her school when the girls her age were in class 5 and 6. But the kind words from the lady of the house let go all her doubt and fear. On the first day in the school she got her new name “Sonam”. Yes she like the new name better than the old one.

And she made a promise to herself that she would never let go the opportunity that was bestowed upon her and work hard to fulfill the dreams.

The struggle

The quest for the greener pasture had lured him away from her. She had always been supportive and respected his decision when he decided to go and work in the USA, the land of dreams. She supported him financially to secure a visa and a plane ticket to his destination. The process was not without huddles but she managed that with the support of her caring family and friends. It took her many travels to Delhi and much spent money but she put up with that all. After all her man was going to States to secure their future (that’s what he always said)

He left her when she was five month pregnant with his child. He promised to call her as soon as he reached there. Days passed into weeks and weeks changed into months. Seasons changed but she didn’t hear a word from her man. Her relatives asked her about her man but she had no information. She got worried and made a long distance call to a friend who said that she had seen her husband a few days earlier in a Bhutanese get together. The information gave her a relief and some hope.

In the mean time her baby entered the world. Holding her baby in her arms brought tears in her eyes. She wished her husband was there to share those tender moments.

Her days dragged by but with the help of her supportive relatives, she survived. When her baby started teething, she starting thinking about her life and began to restate her priorities in her life. She decided to find her a job and got herself enrolled in a training institute. She worked hard. She had to because she had to think about her little baby at home. She completed her course and had a secured job though it was just enough for them. Her mother came to live with her to help her with babysitting. She could sense lots of questions in her mother’s eyes but she ignored since she did not have answers for those.

She enrolled herself in continuing education and spent sleepless nights studying, working and managing home. In time her hard work paid off. She got her degree. Now her future was secure with a secure job and teenage daughter but there was no place for any man in her life. She did not trust any man because only she knew what she had gone through during those first years of her struggle when her so called husband left her never to return.

Epilogue

In a few months time she will be leaving for the states to pursue her masters degree. She just wishes that she doesn’t come across the pretender during her stay there

The realization

He had been abroad pursuing his masters degree and was looking forward to returning home in a couple of months. It was just about few months left for him to wind up his studies and he had already started packing to return home but did he have a home here? He made home in the various places he was placed during his tenure in the service but he never felt he had a home. Yes, he had a family but they stayed away from him because of his nature of work. Due to the distance, their relation suffered and he hadn't talked to his family for almost a year.  Not even to his children.

His friends urged him to make his marriage work and he tried but the gap created due to distance and miscommunication had grown beyond bridging and his studies abroad created even more gap. He was thinking of how his life would be once he returned when his cell rang. The voice at the other end made him nostalgic and he couldn't help the tears from flowing from his cheek. The caller was his daughter. She gave him an account of what was happening at home, the place he dreaded to visit. But talking to him brought back fresh memories of his happier times with his family.

Her call made him realize how much he missed his children and how much his children have grown in his absence. He asked himself whether he was a good father or a good human. He did not have answer to that. It was more than an hour after the phone got disconnected that he was still holding his cell phone and crying. He resolved to make up to all the time he had lost and return to his family and try to make his relation work for the sake of his children.

(A true story... The man in the story made a call to me wanted me write about this. I tried my best but I know I didnt do much justice to his emotions... may he be able to keep his resolution....m keeping my fingers crossed)

Truth is stranger than fiction

I was feeling gloomy because of some turn of events. I had just received a call from a friend in who shared the news about the accident of a close friend. She had lost her baby that was due in another month’s time. It was disheartening to hear that because I knew how much she wanted the child. It took her ten years to conceive that baby and she was very happy about it when I last saw her in January. Now the much awaited gift of her life had gone. I knew what she must have been going through and wanted to console her but I had no nerve to call her. I think the weather outside understood the gush of emotion I was going through for the heavens broke down and I could hear the platters of rain drops on the roof.

I knew I had to call her but I couldn’t. Instead I called a mutual friend and broke the news to her who expressed her sympathy but the dreams she shared to me prior to the accident of our friend was something beyond my beliefs.

In her dream she said that she saw our friend selling jewelry to the others and in the process collected a lot of money.  Seeing money in the dreams indicate the misfortune and believing that she had made call to our friend to warn her of her dreams but she couldn’t be reached because the network was very busy at that hour. After that she got busy and couldn’t call our friend. When she told me the date when she had that dream, I was shocked because the accident occurred within 12 hours after that dream.

Does something like that really happen? Or was it a coincidence? I know I don’t believe in dreams but that incident made think over and when I related about the dream and the accident to other friends, they said that such things happen… but it is still hard to believe…

my visit to hospital

I had to visit the hospital due to sudden pain in the chest. I drove straight from work and parked my car in the parking lot. I was accompanied by a friend and we walked towards the reception to get my OPD form. The first thing that hit me was the smell of that place and the many ailing patients. One look at them and I felt weakness on y knees. We got into the queue to get the form which took us more than ten minutes.    

After that, we hunted for the doctor’s chamber since both of us were new to the place and it took us sometime to find it filled with more ailing people. We waited for our turns which consumed another hour. Just as out turn arrived, a man in police uniform rushed in front of us. We didn’t say anything but then another man followed the first one and tried to get in front of us. Now this really irritated me since I was already agitated by the pain and the people around. Here we were waiting for our turns for hours and some people were trying to get in between. I could not control my irritation, so I said that we had been waiting for our turns and he must do the same. The man said that he was in hurry to which my friend responded that we didn’t have all the time in the world. After some exchange of some casual remarks, the man backed out and got in line behind us.

The sleep of eternity

A girl was walking in the rain. Her clothes clung in her body and she was dripping from head to toe. She cursed her luck for being there. She hadn’t planned to be there but fate plays strange tricks sometimes. She was meant to be in her cozy room sipping coffee in at that time but the sudden change in weather and some mechanical failure in her car took her to that place.

She had left her office and driven to her home when her car broke down in the middle of the road. She reached for her cell to call for a mechanic only to find the battery of her cell dead. Damn! She cursed her luck and kicked her car. She decided to walk to the nearest telephone booth to call for help and had walked a few distance when the fury of the heaven broke down on her drenching her. She ran for shelter to the nearest tree and sat underneath but she the downpour became heavier and it began to get dark. She was afraid because she had never walked that road though she had driven everyday to her work.

She started cursing and praying at the same time. She wished for a car to pass by so that she could ask for a lift but it looked like the folks were scared to come out in torrent rain. She was cold and tired but continued to walk towards her destination and it seemed ages before she saw the silhouette of the telephone booth. She heaved a sigh of relief and dashed towards it. As she ran, a car screech in front of her and she was blinded by a powerful beam of light. She screamed and covered her face in reflex.

Everything happened in a flash of light. She heard a murmur and felt someone lifting her up and taking her towards the waiting car. After that she lost her consciousness and the next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital. She saw her neighbour sitting on a chair beside her bed and tried to recollect how she came to the place she hated the most. She had vowed never to visit that place a year ago when she lost the only person she cared about in that place.

She slowly looked around and saw another person in the room - A stranger. As she turned, the stranger smiled and came towards her. She gave a quizzical look so the stranger explained to her with guilt that she was in a motor accident and he was responsible for it.

She wanted to ask him how he found her neighbour but she couldn’t open her mouth. She raised her hand to feel her face only to feel her bandaged face. It was only then she realized that she could not move her legs. She must have been a pathetic sight. She wanted to know how long she had been there on the bed but she had no means of knowing that until the bandage on her face were pulled out. She looked at the calendar beside her bed but didn’t get a clue on what the day was. The stranger spoke slowly and explained that she had been in the hospital for the last three days. She began to panic as she realized that she had been absent from her work for three days and her superior had not been intimated. The stranger might have read her thought for he said that he had informed her office about her accident. She wanted to curse him but didn’t have the energy to do so. The fatigue won over her and she drifted to sleep.

She saw her mother singing her the lullaby that she used to sing while putting her to sleep as a child. She felt childish with her mother once again. She felt something was not right yet she had no control over what was happening. She might have been delirious and talking nonsense for the neighbour started calling her name over and over again. She heard a faint call from her neighbour and tried to respond to him but her mother’s song was so more powerful.

She felt the urge to be with her mother more than anything else in the whole world and smiled as she listened to her mother’s song.

She did not feel the doctors in the hospital trying frantically to revive her breathing and calling her name. The stranger at the corner of the room was feeling faint as he saw his victim breathing her last…

(PS: please note that this is a work of fiction)

A complete woman.

“Am I a complete woman?” I asked myself when a friend said I had to acquire a driving license in order to be complete. I asked my other friends about the same and many had different opinion on being complete. Some said, one needs a family to be complete, others said they need to have a secured job in order to be complete.

Different people had different view on being complete. And Yes I needed to be complete. I had to acquire a driving license. I left earlier from my work and headed to the regional RSTA office to practice for my test which I had been delaying due to one reason or other. My friends had been urging me to get it done before I got into trouble with the RSTA.  And it so happened that one Saturday my husband was driving me and my children to school when we bumped into the people from RSTA doing their routine high way checking. I thanked my lucky star for I was not on the steering wheels that day as I normally do which saved me from embarrassment.

I asked a friend of mine to accompany me and we practiced inside the D-box for about half an hour. The RSTA officials asked me to come for the test the next day at 9 O’clock in the morning.

I had a sleepless night for I was thinking of what might happen the following day. I didn’t want to be a laughingstock in if I failed in the test. I got ready and went for the test at 8.30; half an hour before the time and got busy with the practice. At 9.00, I was called in the office for written test which wrote within 5 minutes since it was all multiple choice questions with the options given.

The next was the most difficult part. Most of my friends had talked about their experience in the D-box and I was quite nervous but I pretended to be calm. The officials were watching me drive in the box from all the angle and I felt like a prisoner with all the guards eyeing my escape. After about an eternity, I could finally come out of the box and I heaved a sigh of relief when all the people watching me drive applauded me.

And then I was taken for highway drive which was not a problem and at the end I was asked to come for a refresher’s course the following Friday which I attended. Now I hold a valid driving license and I cannot help smiling when I remember the conversation I had with another friend who suggested me to take some bottle of beer to get through the test.

Yes, if acquiring a driving license makes one a complete, then I am a complete woman now.

My sister Jane

After sometime I finally made up my mind, she was the one and I really wanted to make her mine. I had all the reasons to be with her. She had been there for me every time I wanted a shoulder to cry on or a joy to share with. She never failed me.

I had met her during my first year in my high school. She was a tiny little girl with a thick pair of glasses. Everyone in the campus called her "sister Jane" and I too did that until I finally got to know her better.

I was participating in the house debate and my house captain teamed me with the sister Jane. The first practice session progressed without any exchange of words between us but as days passed we began to discuss and scaffold the strength of one another and we made a very good progress. Even the house master was impressed with our work and we won the inter house debate competition.

During our times together I saw a girl with a dream beyond my means, a girl capable of passion which I was not aware of and a friendship I had never dreamt of. I took our friendship for granted and never kept any secrets from her. I had many up and downs in my relationship with other girls but I always went to her when I needed a shoulder to cry on. She would always be there with her ever knowing words to console me and help me over come the breakup.

We completed our high schools and went on to pursue our dreams but we never lost our contact. We always found time to exchange mails and calls. At times when she did not respond mails or made calls I would be frantic with worries and my friends would tease me that I was being irrational. My girl friends were jealous when I shared about our friendship but I would always argue saying that there is nothing more than a friendship between us.

At times I would wonder whether there was something more than a friendship between us and I had no answer for that.

Then I met her during the graduate orientation. At first I couldn't recognize her when she called my name. Her glasses were replaced by contract lenses and her feature looked more famine. I stood there speechless. I now had the answer that had been probing for ages� "Yes, she is more than a friend to me". I kept that realization to myself because I did not want to spoil the friendship that we had.  The orientation was over within the blink of eyes and we sat for the civil service examination. The results were declared and we both got selected.

I then decided that she was the one with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I got a small ring with an inscription "MY SISTER JANE" and drove to her house and rang thedoor bell. She was all smile when she saw me and took my hand and said, "Rinzin, meet my fianc�e". I managed a meek smile and said "Hello" extending my hand to the man who stole my girl�..

 

A day in the life of a student

My day begins with the wake up call from my mother. She calls my name several times before I open the door and walk sleepily to the bathroom rubbing my eyes and murmuring something. Some times my mother hears my murmur and asks me what I said to which I pretend not to hear her and continue with my sluggish walk to the bathroom. Once inside I relieve my bladders of its burden without closing the door and my mother screams at me asking me to at least have the decency to close the door of the bathroom. The next I clutch my tooth brush and start squeezing the paste from all the sides making the tube shapeless. I know my mother would get mad when she sees that but I like to be shabby most of the time and she forgives me every time.

Its almost my breakfast time when I get out of the bathroom and my sisters grumbles at me saying that we are getting late for the school. I take my gho to my father who dresses me up and my breakfast is ready on the table when I am done with the dressing.

I quickly eat my breakfast and grab my school bag and my packed lunch basket from the table and walk to the waiting car. I check my bag in the car to make sure that all the things are there. My sister looks at me accusingly sending me a message that I should be more responsible. I make a silent promise that I will get up early the next day to avoid her accusing looks. The drive takes 10 minutes to get to my school and all my friends are already in the school. I get out of the car and join my friends.

The school bell rings and I follow my friends to the assembly ground and pray the "Jamyang Soeldep" which is followed by the speeches, announcements and finally the national anthem. After that I move to my class and sit cramped in the small classroom in between two noisy girls.

The class teacher moves in lazily and takes our attendance not bothering whether we are comfortable or not. After that begins my torment. I try to listen to every word my teacher says but I am unable to concentrate because the girls on my both sides and busy whispering between the teaching by the teacher. The teaching continues despite the whispering and I hear the bell which indicates that the next period is Mathematics which is my favourite subject. I wait for the teacher to enter with my books open and look around to see some of my friends dozing off due to hot weather. I control my laughter because I know that the boys are going to be annoyed with my laughing and I am looking for trouble during the recess. Mathematics period is over within a blink of eye and its time for break. I look into the lunch basket and find my favourite snacks that my mother never fails to pack. I take my snacks and hide it inside my gho and go outside the class and share it with my friends.

The ten minute break gets over very soon and I am back to the class for science. I wish the teacher would take us to the lab because I love experimenting when it comes to science.

I dread the fourth period because the teacher who teaches Dzongkha is very strict. Once I was not able to pronounce some words correctly and after that I had become her target. That's the reason I stay late at night practicing reading Dzongkha. The period moves at snail's pace and my stomach rumbles... I pray for the bell to ring earlier to save myself from embarrassment.

The lunch hours are my best moment in the school. I take my lunch with my friends quickly and we play in the heat till we sweat. We smell all sweaty when we enter the class after the lunch. And then begins our dozing session. At the end of the day my head feels like it had been pricked by thousand nails due to the noise made my by desk mate. And eardrum is at the verge of bursting. I look at the final bell  with relief.

By 3.30 pm, I am all set to go back home and wait at the school gate for my mother.

When I get home, I throw off my gho, put on my regular jeans and go out to my waiting friends. I spend about an hour with my friends and I get back home for my home work because my mother is very strict with our study schedule. I sometimes wonder whether I attend two schools in a day.

 

Faceless friend

A message reads… "Can u be online this Friday? I have to talk to you". The responder answers, "I can't promise but will try".

The sender is a young girl who has been frequenting the net for the last couple of months. She needed to have her last chat with this faceless stranger. She eagerly waits for the Friday evening when her chat friend would be online.

She is very punctual. She sits in front of the computer in a café and fiddles the computer for some time to pass her time. She logs in at exactly 6 pm and sees that her friend is online. A smile crosses her face and she starts typing to her faceless friend. She had been sharing everything about her to this faceless friend that she had come to trust the person on the other side of the line like her twin soul. She respondent gives her all the advice that she need and she always feels light hearted after the chat with her friend.

But today she didn't have a problem. She had made her decision. She hadn't been online for more than a month. She had failed to qualify for her next higher grade and the most important person in her life had left her. Her sister had asked her to continue in a private school but she feels that her world had ended after the departure of the only person whom she had come to rely on. She needed some one to listen to her but her sister had no time to listen to her childish outburst. So she was depressed and wanted everything to end for her.

"Hi, thanks for being online. I just wanted to say hi to you. I may not be able to do that after today."

"are u going somewhere?"

"no but I think I may not be available after today"

"so do u mean to say that u will be busy?"

"no but I don't think I would be able to come online after today"

"ok but why? Any problem?"

She pauses and writes "I hate everyone. My life sucks"

The stranger writes "hey… you can talk to me if u like. I m listening" and listens to her outburst. She writes, "I am very much depressed. I have no will to live anymore. My father just left my mother for another woman. I hate him but my mother says he left since he was not happy with her. Can u believe that?"

The stranger does not have right word to console the girl. He just tells her to continue her story. He is just thinking of how to help the poor kid on the other side of the line.

The girl continues "I even hate my mother for letting my father go away from us. She could have told us if they had some problem. But my sister says, they weren't happy with each other and it was better they went separate ways. Now if they weren't happy with each other, why would they stick to each other for all these years?"

" May be they wanted you to grow old enough to understand".

" U too sound like them."

"do I?  I m sorry if I had offended u but I was just being truthful"

"Ok, but can you believe that my father is leaving us and going abroad. I won't be seeing him for many years. He says he wanted to take me but his new wife doesn't want any of his kids around and he chooses that bitch over his very own kids. Now I hate all of them".

"Hey, u can't go on hating them all. Can u?"

"Yes I can, if I have to".

"Do u really want to turn into someone looks at the world with hatred?"

"mmm I am not sure"

"then U admit that u don't hate them."

" Yes, I don't hate them always but right now, I hate them all"

"this phase of your life will pass, just give urself some time and try not to think of this issue though I know it is difficult".

" are u sure, it will pass?"

"Cross my heart, a time will come when u will even get to like your step mom"

"don't expect me to like her"

"ok"

"and there is another thing I want u to tell you about. I have failed to qualify for my next higher grade and I don't want to burden my sister and mother. They want me to continue in private school but I know how difficult it would be for them to meet the house hold expense"

"What do u really want? Do you want to continue with your studies or do you want something else?"

"I want to study but I also know that it would be next to impossible for my mother and sister to meet my school expense."

"mmm may be u can get the help from your dad"

"I am not even talking to my dad anymore and I don't want any help from him or his wife"

"well… what do u plan to do next?"

"I donno"

"well, u can take a good night sleep and talk to ur mother and sister about ur plans if u have any"

"May be I will just talk to them about how I feel. I haven't done much talking since my father left us. I felt so depressed that I thought I would lock myself up in the room and let the world end"

"Hey girl… cheer up, this is not the end of the world. There are so many things stored up for u. U just got to pull the right strings and things will start to tune in to ur tone"

The stranger gives her tips on how to keep herself occupied by reading some books and he gives her a list of books that she can borrow from the public library. She takes a note of all that and she leaves the café with a smile on her face.

The stranger doesn't realize that he had just saved a life from a fatal suicide. She had come all prepared to bid farewell to her chat friend and leaves the café with a determination to live no matter how tough her life turns out to be.

The tale of the lone figure

As I listened to her tale, I felt that I should write her story for I found it facinating.

Abi Gyanden (her name) was born in a poverty ridden home where there was always shortage of food. Her parents toiled from dawn till dust to feed the nine children. When she was old enough to venture outside her village, she ran away from home to escape hunger. When she first arrived at Tashigang, some one took her in as a maid and gave her food and shelter. She was 9 years old and she served the family until they decided to send her away to their relative in the capital.

The relatives of her first saviour were very kind and treated her like the member of the family. She led a peaceful life until a man came to the house to ask her hand in marriage. After the consent of the family, she was taken as a bride to a very affluent family. She was just thirteen years at that time. The family treated her well since she worked very hard to please everyone in the family. Before she attained 20 years of age, she was the mother of four children. By then her husband had started having numerous affairs and there was always disagreement in the house. She tried to flee form her husband but her in-laws did not permit that since they feared that they might loose their grand children. Her in-laws were very supportive and she enrolled her children in the school. She narrated how her husband once disappeared for more than a year and came back to her when he had exhausted all the money that he had taken from his parents.

She said that she was married legally to a man who did not bear any responsibility towards his family. She also said that she was thankful for her in-laws who stayed with her through thick and thin.

Then she took out something from her tiny sooth ridden bag and showed m. It was a photograph. Looking at it, I assumed that it might have been taken some years back. The faded photograph contained the pictures of laughing faces. On a closer look, I realized that I was staring at the picture of one of my old friend. She pointed at the picture and said that the girl in the picture was her youngest daughter. I gasp, "Yeasel". She looked at me quizzically and asked "How do u know her?" I said we were in the school together once but how could I tell that I knew her story before I even met her. I have heard Yeasel tell her story many a times and now all her memories came flooding after all those years.

I asked her why she stayed here when all her children were settled abroad. She said that she had to come back to the land of her birth because she wanted to die here. I had no response for her words� Hope Yeasel will realize this and come back to her mother sooner�

The Talk with the lone figure

I walked unsteadily, not knowing whether I was doing the right thing or not but I thought on what Gobsmacker wrote "One day when you make your usual walk, you will not find the old lady there...nor you will hear her frail voice chanting "Om Mani padme hung". So don't shy away today....tomorrow you may be too late...."  I decided it was now or never.

I walked hesitantly and sat beside her. She stopped chanting her prayers and looked at me. I took out doma which I had bought especially for her and offered to her. Her wrinkled face broke into a wide smile and she took it and asked me to have one as well which I declined saying that I don't chew it. She gave me another toothless smile as she put the remaining doma inside her sooth ridden tiny bag.

She sat there relishing the taste of her doma as I waited silently for her to finish it. After sometime, she finished chewing and asked me my name. And then began our conversation. She spoke with hefty breath and in between counted her rosary and chanted her prayers. As she narrated her life story, I listened with earnest interest that I even lost the track of time. It was dark as I took her leave that evening and I am looking forward to seeing her next…

The lone figure

Every evening as I go for walk, I see a lone figure with a rosary on her hand. She is seen chanting "OM MANI PADME HUNG" and I can see that her devotion is eternal. She always occupies the same bench in the park and she is seen there no matter what time I choose to visit the place. I am inclined to go and share some words with her but I shy away thinking that I might be intruding her sanctuary.

I sometimes occupy the place opposite to her and watch her as she continues with her chanting and prayers.  Her wrinkled face looks very calm and her stooped figure tells me that she might be in her late 70s.

After my usual walk, I find my self thinking about her and wondering where she stays. Her presence in the park every time I am there is so mystifying that I wish to know more about her and  I tell myself that I will talk to her the next day  and...

Towards unknown destination - II

We stayed for few days in the boarder town before travelling to the capital. In the capital, I was met by another cousin who wanted to take me with her.  In the cold February month, I was driven to a completely new place that I haven't even heard about. I had no idea what they wanted of me. At last I mustered some courage and asked what I had to do for her. She said that she wanted me to go to school like the other children of my age. That was best thing that ever happened to me. I started going to the school and I learned fast since I was older than the most of the students in my class.

At the end of the year, I made my benefactor proud by coming up first in the class. I tried my best in every activities carried out in the school and even succeeded in most of them. Then I decided something I regret till this day. I left my benefactor and went with my brother who was working by then. My brother took me to the place where he worked and treated me well but I fell sick constantly due to the unsuitable weather. My performance declined in the school and after a year I went back to my mother.

I continued my studies but my performance was not the same as what it used to be. I managed to pass my grade but I was not satisfied with the results. I knew the hardships my mother was facing to send me to school and I continued to help my mother at home after school to sustain our living because my father was of no help to us. I managed to get through in the high school and continued my studies in a reputed school. Despite my hard work, I did not qualify for Sherubtse and now my future looks bleak as I am looking for some job. My mother is no more there to support me….

Towards unknown destination I

I was the youngest in the family but I was not the favourite of my father. May be that was because I was not his planned baby. He already had a house full of kids from his first wife and I was just another mouth to feed for him. My brothers had learned to adjust with the mistreatment from our half siblings but I was just a child then.

My father thought that he needed someone to herd the cattle for the family and found me fit for the job. At the age of seven, when most of the children my age went to school, I was spending my days with the nature, herding the cattle.

One fine day, I heard that my cousins were coming home for their holidays. I hadn't met any of them since they worked in the capital. I was asked by my mother to get ready to go and see them since they wanted to meet me. I was very excited. We planned to visit them without the knowledge of my father because he didn't like us visiting them. A few days after their arrival to the village, I and my mother went to see them. They all welcomed us with their open hearts and they had a long talk with my mother. I was too small to understand what was going on. From that day, my mother started packing things silently and I felt the urge to ask but I could not. A week after our visit to the cousins place, my mother took me to the market on some pretext. I saw a car waiting and my mother told me to get inside. I saw my cousins inside the car and they drove me away, taking me away from my mother, the only person who cared for me.

That ride in the car was my first ride. I felt the trees moving and nauseous but my cousins assured me that it would be fine after sometime.  It was after many stops on the way that we reached the town. I saw the tall buildings for the first time. The hotel we stayed in was a very huge in comparison to the small hut where I and my mother along with my brothers stayed. (My father had a big palatial house which we hardly visited). After shower, my cousins took me to buy some dress for me. It was all like a dream for me. I was treated like a princess for the first time in my life. They wanted me to dress in pants and shirts which was very new experience to me. It took me sometime to get used to the dress.

The get together…

The two weeks that I was away from my family was the busiest one. The day started with a cup of coffee in the room (I was never on time for the breakfast due to late night assignments). And by half past eight I had to be in the class ready for the session. The session usually lasted for one hour session with different tutors and we had to attend seven sessions in a day. The lunch hours were the shortest one with less than an hour break. We met many friends from the training days but we never had enough time casually sit and talk. So a friend suggested that get together for dinner.

About twenty five of us agreed.  And despite our busy schedule and presentations, we did set a time and place to meet and we all met on the given date. We all had a great time. For a moment, we even forgot about the family we left at home. It was just like the training days when we never bothered about what the others said. There were lots of noise and drinks and some of us hardly touched dinner. After dinner, I ended up driving my friends back to their place and it was 2 O’clock in the morning when I finally got to my room.  What a night I had and the next day some of the friends ended up missing some sessions…