When strangers becomes friends

A friend request on face book is all it takes to make a friend out of a stranger in this digital world. A few years ago such thing was unheard of but now everything is possible.

Greeting the first Rainfall

The gusty wind had been speeding up for the past several days bringing relief to the mounting temperature but the roads looked dusty and the pavement were very dry yearning for a little freshness that comes only with the rain. I silently prayed for the rain since the little flowers blooming in my garden gave dull withered look. 

 

Glimpses of Scout camp 2011

The mock Drill

The school announced that we would be having a mock drill on disaster management today in the morning assembly. We eagerly listened as the coordinator  outlined procedures for the drill. We went back to the class and instructed the students on the same so that things would go smoothly during the drill which was scheduled after lunch.

Multitasking

Every day I try to battle my day with a smile on my face. Multitasking is something that needs thorough planning but I never learned to plan things in my life. I took the things as it came- one at a time, I am still doing that and I think I am good at what I do. I am a mother, wife, a teacher and a driver and I assume many role as and when needed :P

The camp experience

My principal handed me an office order stating that I was to attend a scout camp for four days away in the wilderness… I say wilderness because the camp was away from town where I had never been before though it was just about 20 kms from my place. Reading the order I realized that I had just about a few days to mentally prepare myself for the camp. I called the other colleagues mentioned in the letter and found out that we had to report to the Dzongkhag office in about three days time ( two days prior to the camp for planning). What the heck! My first reaction was to shout “to the hell with the camp in the middle of the academic session” and cancel my name from the list with a few calls but my friends suggested against it and I found myself sitting in the Dzongkhag office on the set date with the other participants cracking my brains out with the planning given the short period of time. Two days into the planning and preparation and on the third day I was driving through the dusty bumpy road into the wilderness. 

Frustrations!

Frustrations! Frustrations! You cannot help it when you are sand-witched between two bosses.

After rushing through the busy morning hours, I finally drop my children at school and proceed to my work place. I take a look on my watch as I park my car. Yes! I was on time, just as always. The very important value that my parents taught. My father used to say “time is like a river, ever flowing. One need to keep a pace with it in order to make things happen”.

The mail

On the evening of 11^th March 2011, I sat stunned as I watched the news on TV about the earthquake of 9.0 RC hitting the eastern shores of Japan. The news showed the horrifying footage of the things happening at the other end of the world - the world that held my other family; the family I had known for a brief period while I was visiting the place.

My guests

Two ladies came to occupy my cottage for more than two months. I say my cottage because, the cottage came with the bungalow allotted to my husband and we had been occupant of the same for some time now. The guest came to live at our place because they happen to be relative of my husband’s friend. Initially they said that they would be staying for a month and we agreed.

Sad movies …

I first saw the book “P.S. I love you by Cecelia Ahern” when I was visiting Thimphu a few weeks ago. The friend to whom the book belonged asked me whether I wanted to read to which I declined the offer because I hadn’t planned to stay for long in Thimphu and I was worried about not completing the book. Thus I declined. My stay in Thimphu extended beyond what I had planned and I almost called my friend to ask for the book but then I had other errand and got busy and completely forgot about the book until last week.

The New Look

The road I had driven for the past one year looked suddenly different when I drove to work this morning. At first I thought I was seeing things as I was preoccupied with some things related to work because tomorrow my students will be back to school and I had so many things to do to make everything ready when they arrived. But No! I was not dreaming. Something really was different. The road which usually gave me jerk as I drove was very smooth this morning. I slowed my car and drove slowly taking in everything. Over the weekend, I could see that the road had been repaired and the huge boulders which usually hindered while driving had been displaced at the side of the road. Wow! The visit of the VIPs definitely had some positive impact.

My observation II

The chill wind hit me as soon as I got off the bus. I tried to pull my scarf closer to avoid the wind and at the same time looking for my niece. She was to pick me up from the bus stand. I scanned the crowd and finally spotted her looking frantically, searching for me. Yes! She was there. I waved and she saw me and came towards me and towed me into a waiting taxi.

My Observation

I hadn’t planned to go to Thimphu initially but since I was standard in Phuntsholing for a countless days due to Assam and Bengal strike, I decided to finally pay visit to the capital city. My friends were worried because they knew that I hadn’t been to Thimphu in winter and they thought I wouldn’t be able to stand the cold weather during the peak winter season. I nearly changed my mind twice but then I thought that if I went back to my words I would not be able to make the visit in the near future. So finally I decided to g ahead with my plan and got a bus ticket to Thimphu. After spending three days in Phuntsholing, I finally boarded my bus to Thimphu. I made sure that I had some warm clothes before I boarded the bus and purchased an extra jacket.

Watching autumn in my heart

I and my friend (roommate) decided to watch the Korean movie (serial) “ Autumn in my heart”. It was not planned initially because both of us had been very busy with the preparation of group presentation. We worked through Saturday and spent almost half of Sunday on it. (Both of us were working separately since we were in different group) My group members (male) didn’t show their face during the entire preparation time because they said they had other errand. After spending about half of Sunday in the room, we decided to go to the market. We strolled the town, buying nothing of importance. After lunching out, we came back and then sat down to watch the movie.

On a forced diet

We come back from our session in the evening and get busy with the preparation of next day's presentation. I rigorously look for some references in the library and browse the net. The time flies by and we don’t even realize that it’s past the dinner time. Damn! We missed the dinner again. This is the 6^th night that we had been here and we never saw the dining hall in the mornings and evenings and the reason we gave was we were too busy.  It’s not that we are so engrossed with the preparation for preparation and other assignments but engaged mostly in the silly tit bits of our life.

Away from home

Being away from home is like a hell but being away during losar is unthinkable. On the eve of losar, my cell rang a numerous times and I got many wishes from family, friends and other well wishers but all those wishes were wasted on me because my only wish was to be with my family on that day which I could not. Sometimes I wish that I had been wise enough not to join this course because though the duration is not very long its seems like ages since I have been here but when I counted the days, I realized that it’s just  three days since I had come here.

Charged Nu.2 extra

I bought ticket for the public transport enroute to samtse. I was travelling with my two friends to attend the course. We paid Nu. 38 each for the tickets and got onto the bus. The bus was not very crowded when we boarded from the bus stand. I was squeezed between my two friends.  As soon as the bus crossed the Indo-Bhutan boarder, there was a crowd of passenger waiting to board the bus. The conductor started shoving in all the extra passengers. The people started pouring in and the bus got more crowded and there was not a single space to place a foot yet the people kept on boarding. After about five minutes the bus started moving. By then the people sitting on their respective seats were also complaining about the comfortableness of the ride.

Glimpses of Samdrup Jongkhar Tshechu 2010

Vacation

The vacation has started. My kids are busy with their plans to visit their grand parents, uncle and aunts and cousins. I too would like to visit my relatives but I cannot do so since I have to be at another place away from my family. This is the sixth year that I hadn’t been able to enjoy a relaxed vacation but this year will be the last year that I will be sacrificing my hard earned vacation in a dull place like Samtse away from my family and hopefully I do not wish to visit this place again in my near future.

Dinner

This happened a few days ago. I was in the market with my son when I got a call from my husband. I thought he might have called to ask for something to be bought from the market so I asked him what he wanted. He asked me to get home because he had invited someone for dinner. I asked who the guest was and when I learned I shouted “Are you crazy?” I could read the time on the wall clock in the shop. I just had 1 hour to get home and make the dinner ready. I asked him to take the guest to the restaurant but he insisted that the dinner be made at home.

My angle

I had been awake for more than two hours and it’s still dark outside. I do not have anything to do since it’s a holiday. I try to open the book that I had brought yesterday but my mind is not on it. My thought keeps wandering to the day I got a call. The call that destroyed everything I had.

If Only….

It was a cold winter evening, everyone wrapped in old blankets sat around the fire, consuming every single heat the wood could produce. It was Zangmo, her ailing mother and her two younger siblings. They were very poor and the harsh winter could not let Zangmo find something to feed her family. Though just 17, she had to shoulder the entire responsibility of her house, for now her mother had been bed ridden for three weeks. Not to mention about the medicines, her mother could not even get good diet and every single day she was failing. Every groan produced by her ailing mother brought tears in her eyes.

Of Exams and Preparation

As my exams approach, I am struggling with the last minute preparation. I curse myself for not preparing beforehand but I also know that it wouldn’t have been possible with so many things happening in my life. At first it was the domestic emergency and then came the busy schedule at work. One thing led to another and before I realized, my exams schedule was out and I hadn’t even finished collecting notes. I frantically start googling and print some pages and flip though them trying to grasp some information. That’s what I had been doing for the past two weeks.

The concert

                                           Tamang dance by class PP

The note

She sat outside clutching a note on her palm, looking at the dark night, seeing nothing. The surrounding had become uneasily silent and she could hear the rustle of autumn leaves near her. For a moment she was lost in her thoughts transported to another time at another place on a similar night.

My Trip to book fair

I hadn’t been to book fair before and I didn’t know what to expect out of it but I knew that I would have to select the books for the various range of readers in my school. Keeping the readers in mind, I sat with a friend and listed some books to be purchased for the school library. The task of listing books took us most of our free time before my trip to Monger. After finally consenting on the list, I left for Mongar along with the teachers from the neighbouring schools. I was cramped in the only school bus of our Dzongkhag. The bus ride was bumpy due to widening of road in many different places and we had to stop at the various stop points before we finally arrived at our destination after the dusk. I couldn’t make much about the town in the darkness. My sister had come to pick me up, so I left with her.

Cycling lesson

flickering light

Flickering light in the room

Fighting the storm

The battle went on

Till the storm won

Driving in the rain

He didn’t want to go. He never planned for that trip but it happened. He was given a day’s notice to pack and prepare.  He didn’t have anything to pack since he would be gone for just four days. He was substituting someone for a conference. He stayed late at night going through the details before his trip. He called his fiancée to inform about the change in his schedule because he was going out of station. He was going to be away from her for four days and the thought of not seeing her for a day made his heart go cold. He was feeling apprehensive, like some unknown force was bidding him to stay. He wanted to cancel that trip but he knew that he couldn’t afford to do because it was an opportunity for him. Even his fiancée was excited about it.

a wish

Never had I felt so helpless. I was a firm believer of the cliché, “if there is a will, there is a way” but not anymore. My will power is failing me.

It is very disheartening to see the people you care about fade away in front of your eyes. The countless trips to many different hospitals and the numerous religious rituals haven’t been of much help.  Though I am aware of the impermanence, I want to hold on. I am just not ready to let go.

Thank You

Of late I have been emotionally low. Things aren’t going on as I had wished. There isn’t any improvement in my father-in-law. I hate to see him suffer in pain. He had been in that condition since many months. The trip to hospital and back home has been a frequent affair these days. How much ever I hate hospitals, I cannot avoid going there. And the other patient who is under going treatment in Kolkata is still in the same condition. I sometimes wish for Aladdin’s lamp so that I can make everything normal in a jiffy.

A night with nights in Rodanthe

Someone had talked about the movie version of the book “nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks and I was very eager to lay my hands on it but I wanted to read the book first. After a much wait, I found myself opening the book yesterday. The much awaited book was in my hand and I gingerly opened the book after having sent my kids to bed.

The promise of dawn

The night was creeping in but the weather did not change. The rain was as heavy as ever and the platter of raindrops could be heard on the roof in between the deafening thunder and lightening. To make it worse the frequent thunder and lightening had resulted in power cutoff. She wished for the weather outside to change. She could smell the dampness in her room and wished for sunshine in her room as well as her life.

Her life had been floating downstream for a couple of months but she hadn’t lost her hope of seeing the silver lining among the dark clouds.

Her life had been perfect just a few months ago before it came crashing down. Her life revolved around her grandmother who had toiled hard to get her educated. She did not have a single memory of her parents. She was told that they died in an accident and there wasn’t even a picture to remember them by. When she was small she sometimes asked her grand mother about her parents but as she grew, she didn’t feel the need to know her parents, so she just knew their names from her birth certificate she possessed. Her grand mother became her world.

When she graduated she got herself a job and made her grandmother quit her job since her health was deteriorating. With determination and hard work she climbed the ladder of success and got promoted to a team leader in the firm she worked. Being a team leader was very challenging but she loved facing challenges and turning them into opportunities and success. Everything was perfect when suddenly her world came crashing down. One night she was chatting with her grandmother and the next morning she found that she was all alone in the world. She felt her grandmother’s cold body and felt herself becoming breathless. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital bed. She had survived a major cardiac arrest and  was advised bed rest. Since then nothing was what it used to be.  Her work suffered as well as her health.

The weather outside reminded her of her present condition – helpless, bedridden and lonely. She thought of her grandmother and knew that her grandmother would not have wanted her to be that way. She was a survivor and knew that she would strive to live the life her grandmother wanted her to live. The long night gave way to dawn  and with it brought the promise and hope.

She could see her silver lining among those dark clouds as the dawn began to break…

The Olympic day 2010

I got to the public ground at 5 O’clock in the morning and it was raining very heavily. There were many participants eagerly waiting for their friends to turn up so that they could head off to the starting point. They were participating for the open marathon organized by the BOC to celebrate the world Olympic day 2010. Despite the weather everyone looked forward to the day’s events.  
I was the first among the volunteer to be there. As the minutes clicked by many other volunteers joined me, all dressed in yellow T-shirt and white caps. It was quite an amazing sight to behold. We got to work assigned a day earlier and it was fun working in rain. We got drenched but we enjoyed every bit of time spent there. It was only when a friend asked whether I had breakfast when I realized that I hadn’t had a cup of tea till 10 O’clock in the morning which was so unusual of me. J  The day ended with prize distribution and we all headed home tired but contented. 

Note: I wrote this on 18th July but couldn't post it due to busy schedule.

Get well soon!

I remember the first time I saw you

the most active among the group of eight

Selected among the hundreds

You were so full of life

With so much energy

And jest for life

I never knew death lurked around

Hiding beneath

Waiting to strike

The news shattered me

To learn what you are going through

The cancer eating you away

You have so much to live for

The dreams to be fulfill

The stars to be reached

Just hang on

I know you can over come that

With the blessings from all

(I recently came to know about this student who is being treated for bone marrow cancer..)

My bleak summer break

I had planned to spend my summer holidays with my parents in the village. I had even made a list of things I would do to help them during my two weeks break. My kids were all excited and then pop! my plans blew up! My brother-in-law got diagnosed with a terminal cancer and was referred to Thimphu. My husband had to rush to Thimphu since his father was also under going treatment there.

In the mean time I had that little accident where I hurt my toe and my nail came off. I had to stay under medication for sometime which disabled me from making any journey. Thus I got stuck up at the same place.

The only positive thing about the vacation is that my toe is healing and I am having enough rest.

The days are filled with watching TV and playing online games and face booking yet I feel so bored. My kids are complaining of boredom too. We take turns to play online games and watch TV together yet we feel something is amiss.  We want to take a breath of fresh air but the weather discourages us from outdoor games. So we are stuck with doing same things over and over again.

I haven’t told my kids about their uncle, grandpa and their great mother (who is also bed ridden in the village)  and try to make the days as normal as possible but I wonder for how long. Sooner or later I am going to break down because I cannot keep on pretending everything is all right when it’s just the opposite.

We still have one more week before the session resumes and I am already looking forward to that because I find no charm in sitting idly with nothing to do and worrying over things that I have no control over.



Photo : google.com

The dark phase of my life

“Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift that’s why it’s called a present” is a very popular line from the movie Kungfu Panda. The gift of today has to be accepted with gratitude yet I find it hard to do so. 
Many things have happened in the last few months  that I sometimes feel the god is testing my patience and faith. For months, I had spent sleepless nights and I feel that I had had enough but still things are going in the wrong direction. My gift of today is so confusing and disheartening with my many family members sick yet I hope to see the ray of sunshine at the end of the day because I read somewhere that the hours is darkest before the break of the dawn and I am hoping  to see my dawn sooner.

The more I think about it, the more it looks complicated. Fear grips my heart when I think about the unthinkable that might happen yet the faith I have keeps me going and hoping for the best. I know this dark phase in my life will pass yet I wonder for how long I need to endure all these. 

God give me strength!


Photo google.com

Feeling blue :(

People say that everything happens for a reason but I am not sure whether I believe that because what ever is happening to me right now doesn’t seem to be in the best of my interest. 

Of late I dread to pick up my cell. Every time the cell rings, I feel my blood run cold dreading for some bad news and I ask my daughter to see who the caller is. My granny is bedridden in the village and my father-in-law is at Thimphu undergoing treatment. My niece is also under medication and now another member of the family is hospitalized. He had missed his exams and was suspected of H1N1 but later he was diagnosed typhoid and now he is said to be suffering form blood cancer and need to undergo chemo therapy. In the mist of all these I don’t need an injury but it happened again. I slipped and injured my leg. I feel so helpless. Can there be anything worse than what's  happening now?

Photo google.com

Mother’s concern…

As a child I used to wonder why my mother was always frantic when one of us (her children) was late from school. Once I even asked her why she worried unnecessarily to which she responded that I would have answer to that when I became a mother some day. Now that I have children of my own, I can well understand her fears better.

My worry began when I learned that I was going to be a mother. I worried whether my baby was growing properly in my womb. And I even asked the doctor to see whether my baby had all the limbs on delivery. I worried when my baby didn’t eat and worried when she ate too much. I worried when I left her with the babysitter as I went to work. 

My worry doubled when my son was born. He was very tiny and weighed only 2.9kg, much smaller than his sister

With years the worry has only increased.. Now though both of my children are growing healthy and performing well in their studies, I can’t help worrying; worrying over their health, food, their performance and the list goes on.  When do mothers really stop worrying? 

Photo google.com

A message

Dear friend,

“There comes a time when things happen when we least expect. The unexpected turn of events changes our lives forever. The winds of destiny blows, sometimes furiously like a hurricane and we get drifted with its force. At other times it is barely noticeable as it gently fans our cheek. Either way we cannot deny the call of destiny as they hold our untold future” writes Nicholas Sparks in his book “The message in the bottle”.  And life must go on…

Every time I think about the choice that you had made, I can do nothing but to pray that you be happy with the choice that you have made. I can only imagine what you might have gone through but you must remember that you are far greater than you have ever dreamed of being. No matter what you are experiencing in your life right now, trust that all is good and unfolding in your best interest. I know it will take time to heal the wounds that you have suffered.

Do not look back at you past because I know that’s where you pain lies. Past is a grave and it makes no sense living you life in a grave. You cannot move forward in life if you are stuck looking in the rearview mirror. Do not run away from the many adventures that the life has to offer to you. I know your fears but remember that on the other side of your fear you will discover your fortune.

Try to live an excellent life because living an excellent life is a manifestation of self-love. Keep spreading smile. :) 

A well wisher.

The lonely soul

As soon as he gets into the room, he starts greeting everyone present there. Sometimes his greetings are followed with a naughty remark and at other time with a smack of laughter from the others. This is the virtual world of the druknet chat room.  Every one in the room knows him as a regular chatter and exchanges some valuable information with him on some occasion but no one has really seen the real soul that resides beneath the stereotype nick he uses -the soul that is lonely and craves for a company. He is usually surrounded by many beautiful ladies in the virtual world but the reality is just the opposite.

His wife left him because they could not understand each other and they decided to go separate ways because it would have destroyed them if they had lived under the same roof. His passion for archery was more than his wife could bear and her nagging was something that he dreaded. So it was better that way.

Now he doesn’t have someone to nag him and he is happy about it but every evening as he climbs the stairs of the building which he call his home, he sense a feeling of loneliness creeping in his heart. The eerie silence that greets him on his arrival home is sometimes unnerving. Thus he find solace in the virtual world and chat away his time until the sleep comes his way.

Photo Google.com

Heat

I have been residing here for some months now and the weather is getting terrible every passing day. Everyday I make sure to watch the weather forecast on the BBS so that I know what to expect the following day.

These days the temperature is almost always between 28° to 29°  but for me, it is more than I can bear. I am used to being in the cooler places. When I comment on the increasing temperature to my colleagues they say that this is just the beginning of the season. Now this makes me think… I can’t imagine what it would be like in the coming months. God help me combat the heat!

Changing times

I remember a time when I visited a village more than a decade ago. The people in that village lived in harmony. They had just got their houses electrified and they were learning to use the electronic rice cookers and water boilers. Everyone helped everyone in times of need. I was amazed to see a train of people walking and on inquiry I learned that those people were carrying a sick lady in turn to reach her to the nearest BHU since the village did not have access to road.

I visited that village recently. I could see that it had changed drastically. The wooden shingles were replaced by the CGI sheet and there were a few concrete house as well which I hadn't seen during my first visit. The village has a road and people have prospered materialistically. I could also see some vehicles parked in front of some houses and the village has a community school too. Yes! People have prospered but it was saddening to notice that they are more involved in their individual well being. Their once selfless commitment for the well being of the whole community has diminished with the changing times. People hardly render help to the needy ones and we cannot find any more train of people helping a sickly neighbour to the hospital. Neighbours hardly know what is happening in the next house.

Changing times have brought many developments in the lives of that village but it has also disintegrated the harmony and coziness that the people once shared.

Rush hours!

Trriiing!

The alarm goes off at 10 minutes to 5 in the morning. It is set to remind me at 5 minutes intervals. Each time the shrill bell seems louder and more insistent than the last. On the fourth ring I have to get off the bed and prepare for the day or else I would end up being late for my work.

A brisk walk and a shower and I head to the kitchen for a cup of tea and begin my household chores. By 6.30, the breakfast is ready and the lunch is packed. I call my children to wake them up but they always pretend not to hear and I have go to my children's room to literally pull them out of their bed. By the time they take shower and eat their breakfast, it is almost 7.15 and I have just 30 minutes to pack their books, get them dressed and prepare myself for my work.

Phew!

As I take my car keys and drive through the gate towards my daughter's school, I glance at the watch which informs me that I have 15 minutes to get to my work. Dropping my daughter to her school take me longer than necessary because of the traffic and most of the time I end up crossing the school gate when the bell rings. I always end up reaching at work just on time and on a few occasions even late by few minutes.

The final cut –II

I cried as if my heart would break. The condition in which I found my friend was too much for me to bear. It seemed like ages when finally I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see my mother beside me. She nodded to me with her knowing eyes left us saying that I could stay with my friend to give her company.

I wanted to know the reason behind the condition of my friend. I had thousand of questions and but my friend was in no condition to answer my queries. She was intoxicated by the alcohol and she made no sense when she talked. To wipe off her intoxication of alcohol, I had to wait and I grew impatient every passing minute. In the mean time, my mother had called some one to drive them to the Tshechu and they left leaving me behind for which I was glad.

The wait seemed longer than I had expected and finally when she came around, I tried to talk to her but she waved her hands and did not want to hear anything. After much persuasion I made her to talk. And she revealed that the reason behind her deteriorating condition and her life was because of her addiction to alcohol. She had started it when she went for social gathering and as time went by, she started drinking in larger quantity which increased every passing day until a time came when she could not stay an hour without the drink. He husband tried his best to bring her out of the addiction but she would not listen to him and instead she started using abusive language which forced him to move away from her house with the children. With the moving of her family, she had another excuse to drink and that was how she had been since many months. Her children were scared to come near her because she would use what ever she had near her to smash on their tiny body.

Though the husband stayed away, he brought her grocery and thing which would remain almost untouched except those countless bottles of drinks. He would send someone to check on her only to be sent back humiliated. Thus her neighbours never bothered about her.

After her narration of her addiction, I resolved to take the risk and admit her to a rehabilitation centre where I could see some hope for her. But I didn’t disclose my intention to her and went to look for her husband to ask his consensus. He was more than glad to hear my plans and we moved her to the rehab the following day.

Her days in the rehab had given her courage to fight her addiction and she is recovering well as per the report we received from the centre. Now I can only wait for the day when I can meet my friend the same old cheerful friend..